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when the curious girl realizes she is under glass [entries|friends|calendar]
catastrophe Cara

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crazy [19 Jul 2006|12:13am]
[ mood | dorky ]

so last night jess came over and we had fun and stuff. and then today i had work from 3-11 but it was okay cause shoaib was there so we got to talk and stuff. but then our other co worker was annoying and bitchy so that was kind of bothersome. but whatevs. you can't let people get to you.
and now, the world is ending. my dad picked me up from work and we were going to go to the sayville docks to see what the water looked like, and it seriously felt like the world was gunna end as we were driving. we couldnt see anything, not even the road and it was hard to see other cars and so we are almost at the docks and then there was a giant tree that fell and was blocking the road, so we were both like f* this shit and drove back home. the whole trip would normally take like.. 10 minutes. it took us almost 30 lol. but im glad we made it home okay. good driving dad.

okay. thats all i have to say.
goodbye world!

i dont have to love

i tried, and i tried. [16 Jul 2006|07:49pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

yesterday, i went to work in the AM and then got out at three. then, as planned at 5, shoaib came and picked me up for our moviefest night. his place is really cute, and i liked it there and he has a little cat and the cat was really cute, too. lol but anyway, we watched constantine and artificial intellegence. we probably would have watched another movie too but uhh..we um procrastinated too much. lol he is the sweetest thing ever. its fun.

then today i had work again in the morning. god how i frickin hate morning shifts. lol they wear me down so bad. i have a lot of work this week, which is good cause i need the $ for the computer i want to get.

i was in a bad mood, but then i came home and took a nap with my cat. now i am awake obvioiusly and i am hungry and waiting for father to get here.

this was very stupid and pointless.

i dont have to love

ow. [15 Jul 2006|01:05am]
[ mood | cynical ]

i am reading "notes from the underground/ apropos of the wet snow" by fyodor dostoevsky for the second time. it is much more amazing the second time around. i guess the first time i didnt really understand what he is saying, but i have since been enlightened so i understand the book a lot better now, and it is truly fascinating. he talks about how it feels to be too conscious, and too aware of life and its..ridiculousness. he talks about society and how he feels about certain things, and i dont know, im obviously not giving a very good description, but something about this book just kills me. even though it was written in 1896, it is so true even to today. i love it i love it. and i understand it and it is beautiful. i think you should read it.

this book + my awesome acoustic playlist = really sad.

i dont have to love

[15 Jul 2006|12:45am]
[ mood | awake ]

so i had to throw myself out of bed this morning and then i was just gunna sit home all day, but amidst a conversation with patrick i all of a sudden vividly remembered this movie i half watched at robyns house many many months ago. it was called Gummo. and apparently, me and robyn are the only people who have seen it. so i went to mr. video and payed 18 fucking dollars in late fees for 2 movies. and of course, they did not have Gummo. so then me and ross went to blockbuster, and even THEY didnt have Gummo. so needless to say, i am on a relentless search for this movie because it is incredibly awesome. anddd i dont want to get it online. i bet i can find it in the city somewhere.
anyway, then i went to work and it was annoying and my boyy wasnt there.

then after work i rode my bike and met up with toni and matt, mind you this is like 1030 at night. so we are hanging out at the side entrance to byron lake park in front of this house and we hang out there for a good 10 minutes and then start to walk over to the other entrance that is kind of hidden. so we jump the fenceand we are wanting to go into the pool and then all of a sudden through the trees on the street we see flashing red and blue lights and we're like holy fuck its the cops. and we werent really sure if it was, but it scared the shit out of us lol. so we fucking ran and got back over the fence and just got the hell out of there. then more stuff happened, but nothing of importance. lol we're gunna do it again next friday, except we're gunna be more prepared. haha we suck. <3

anyway, now im back here and im gunna go read. kbye.

i dont have to love

phlogiston [14 Jul 2006|12:03pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

all night long i dreamt about chemistry and science. i was in germany painting acorns and speaking german and i asked my mom why we were painting acorns and i kept asking if it was tradition,and then my chemistry teacher appeared and he told me i had to do it a certain way and then numbers apppeared on my acorn and that waas the pH level or something and i couldnt let the paint go past the certain numbers. hahah it was wierd. i guess thats what i get for reading a book about chemistry right before i go to sleep.
...but acorns? i dont know.

that was also the first real dream ive had in a really long time. good news, im sleeping again! i wonder when my insomnia will come back.

3 lovers i dont have to love

lotto. [13 Jul 2006|09:16pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

today all i did was sleep and then go in to work. i am happy though because i asked my boss to give me more hours last week and he did and now i finally have a substantial paycheck. even though they took so much goddamn money out for taxes. i fucking hate taxes. I should have recieved 239$. but after the stupid taxes, i get 194$. thats 45$ of taxes. this is one of the reasons i hate living in New York. everything is so expensive and the taxes are ridiculous. im finally gunna start saving now though. i work 35 hours a week, so my pay checks should be pretty substantial from here on in. until stupid taxes. on the bright side, though, at this rate i will qualify for my tax return at the end of the year. yay.

today, two young girls came into 7-11 and they asked me for scratch offs. so i sold them the scratch offs and she started to scratch them off right at the counter. (i have never said scratch so many times in one sentence). then she was like HOLY SHIT and started to jump around and yell and she was like "i just won 5 grand!" so i took the ticket from her to check it on the machine, and it turns out it wasnt a winner and she was just stupid. so after she left i thought about how crazy people get over money. everyone is so consumed with wealth, and materials. its like a drug, the worst possible drug. people are so addicted to money. and i mean, i know that money is probably one of the most important assets to have because well, you cant live if you cant buy food stuffs. but some people just go crazy with money. i see some people come in to 7-11 and buy assloads of lottery tickets and never win. at least if you are going to blow your money, you should have something to show for it.
lotto pisses me off.

this has been a long enough rant about money.

quixotic must mean i am a pirate.

i dont have to love

my banana [13 Jul 2006|12:44pm]
[ mood | blah ]

im eating my banana and listening to simon and garfunkel. i dont know why they are so amazing, but they are. i recently bought the essential simon and garfunkel cd. it is wonderful. and out of all 33 songs, there is not one that i don't like or that i cant listen to.

this banana is giant. its probaby the biggest banana i have ever seen, or for that matter, eaten. maybe it is a mutant banana. maybe it will turn me into mutant-banana-girl. and then i can go around beating up stupid little bananas. and everyone will love mutant-banana- girl. just a thought.

im being silly to mask the fact that i am sad. simon and garfunkel makes me sad. but oh, oh, oh, how i love them.


i dont have to love

stop and go. [12 Jul 2006|09:36pm]
[ mood | full ]

so i deleted all of my old entries again, because sometimes i like to just start fresh. this is one of those sometimes.

it is raining hard outside and i had to ride my bike home from work. aside from my glasses being covered with water and the fact that i could not see much, i rather enjoyed riding home in the downpour. (rain would have been an understatement). there were hardly any cars outside and i rode through all the big puddles and got nice and drenched. don't ask me why i do stupid things. i cannot help it.

also, my insomnia has ended. but it will come again soon, im sure.

these are some pictures that i stole from kristins snapfish. i hope she doesnt mind. the first one is from Nika's goodbye party. the rest are from the fourth of july. we had such a good time. it was me, robyn, stephanie, ric and kristen. wonderful.

i wear green. robyn wears green.

i remember searching for the perfect wordsCollapse )

i dont have to love

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